glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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