So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
time to smoke my breakfast
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize