If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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