I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
