do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
