They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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