when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize