just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
