Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My penis needs a shock collar
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
