ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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