I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
