He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
