I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
