So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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