I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
