Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
