I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
