so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
