I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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