I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
