so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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