I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
