did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize