But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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