so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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