Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
