So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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