Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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