there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
