How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
