You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
