There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
