I am puke
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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