At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
