i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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