And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
