honey bunches of taint.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
