I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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