have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
