new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
