There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
