Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I want is dick and wine.
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