do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
