I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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