It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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