More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
