Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
