Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
