It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
