He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
