yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
