I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
