I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
