I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
