super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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