Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
