im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Randomize
