My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
