i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
