Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
