Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
