I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
